The Hardest Thing
by Uhlowl22
Summary: Angsty little fic about Gabriel and Elle breaking up


I don't own Heroes

This is just a little story about Gabriel and Elle breaking up...if he hadn't killed her and all that of course

Let me know what you think! **REVIEW!!!!!**

The Hardest Thing

It was exactly seven years to the day since he had tried to put _her_ out of _his_ misery…under the stars, lying on the sand as the waves rolled in it seemed like it should have been a romantic memory, but it was anything but that. The memory was still so fresh; the agony of having known she had failed to save him had not diminished, even now. It did occur to her that her methods of helping had been extremely flawed, if not completely counterproductive. Her heart screamed that she should have tried harder, done better…just like Daddy used to tell her. As she laid there pinned under the man she had destroyed it felt justified that he would be the one to finally destroy her. He would take away the affection and contentment his companionship had been filling her with, just as she had done to him when he had been Gabriel. Then they both will have lost the only friend they ever had, they will have been even at last.

Words clawed at her throat cutting into her, but they were stuck in her vocal chords. Every second she failed to push them out the pain only increased, her body begged for something…anything…to come out of her mouth to stop him.

"I love you." She chocked out the words while molten hot tears cooled to a tickle as they reached her hairline and disappeared.

He had stopped at once, frozen in anguish over what she had just confessed to him, now…even as he murdered her. Elle watched him fall apart, face in hands as he unleashed everything he had denied feeling…because emotion makes you weak. Even what he had taken from her, he wanted out. She had wrapped herself around his sobbing form not worried about the blood from her forehead dripping into her eye. He had tried to shake her off once or twice, but she wouldn't relent knowing it wasn't because of disgust for her, but for himself…for what he had been about to do.

They never talked about that night, but Elle often thought about the hours leading up to it. It hadn't been the first time she'd had sex, but it was the first time she ever felt like it meant something, the only time it had ever felt right. For Gabriel that night would always be a nightmare, a scar on his memories of her and their time together, which would never fade.

_He_ considered their anniversary to be the day he used his empathy to take away her pain and absorb her ability. He always told her that she had done more for him that day than her could ever do for her. Though she would smile with approval and stare peacefully into his gorgeous eyes, all the while she was telling herself that he was wrong. She could never do for him what he had done for her; she could never make him feel as loved as he made her feel…she just wasn't that significant.

Today…today was different. It never crossed her mind that he could hurt her more than he had on _that_ night. She thought if despite trying to kill her, being responsible for the deaths of over two dozen people…despite the hunger that propelled him; if she could love him through all of that, then they would be able to conquer any issue that arose in their life together. She believed that with all of her heart, but she was wrong.

"I can't do this anymore." He was looking her in the eye, his voice cracking the tiniest bit on the last word.

There was no need for Elle to ask for any sort of clarification; her intuition had been whispering to her all day, unnerving her to the point of nausea. When he said it there was no relief from finally knowing what it was he had been trying to work up the courage to say all evening. Though her heart was still beating there was no satisfaction of the soothing rhythm or warmth it generated. She would just as soon have it stop beating altogether.

It wasn't like her to feel sad or defeated, but this wasn't sad. This was something else, something deeper; a hole that sucked in everything she had become because of him, leaving her void of any desire to speak, or move…or cry. Her teeth chattered in her mouth, though her jaw was tense, her bones felt like they were cracking apart and she wished her body would just crumble to dust.

He explained himself, but she wagered it was not so much for her benefit as having his own piece of mind, closure. He said he wasn't the same person. He was Gabriel, not Sylar…he was ok again. The hunger, the anger and greed, that was all gone. He told her he finally felt good about who he was.

Elle clearly did not have the same clarity when it came to who she was. It had never gone away; the lost little girl striving for approval and love, the sick twisted thoughts she had constantly popping up in her head…she was still the same damaged girl her father had left behind. She clung to Gabriel as if he had been her tether, because he was. He tied her to this word, this life with him that she wanted so desperately to have. He kept her from going to far out to sea where she would drift away into the vast emptiness of life.

It felt like a fire had ignited and burned up everything good inside of her. The happiness drained from her heart leaving a black spot and a chunk of her soul disappeared. The worst part was how lost she was beginning to feel, even so soon. Her world crumbled around her in little pieces like it had been breaking apart for a while and she just hadn't noticed.

No…Elle never got sad, she got furious, and she knew she should have been overcome by the rage she knew was twisted around every muscle and nerve in her body. She should have burnt him to a crisp, given him a repeat performance of the day he claimed she did _so_ much for him…but she couldn't. Even as he sat there breaking her heart she couldn't bare the thought of hurting him. No matter the pleasure she gleamed from another's pain, his had stopped being a turn on a long time ago when she realized what her life would be like without him in it. It was a scenario she _never_ wanted to see come into the light, but here it was.

"Don't you love me anymore?" She asked in a voice so small she wasn't sure if she had spoken out loud. The mere effort to talk was almost too much, and she wasn't quiet sure she wanted to actually hear him say what she knew he would say.

"…No…" She could tell it wasn't easy for him, and she felt proud of him that he was strong enough.

Not like her, she wasn't strong, not by herself. _He_ had made her strong, gave her a reason to care about something in a way she never had before. Now he was taking it all back, telling her that she no longer had her one thing, her only thing. No matter the fight she put up the tears began to come anyway, slowly dribbling down her cheeks, pausing at her chin then falling onto her forearms with tiny plops.

"I will always care about you, but I can't be the person I am now with you, I'm sorry." He was grasping her hand so tight and she knew it should hurt, but she couldn't feel a thing.

The words were poison, like death crawling inside and making itself comfortable. She knew no matter how damaged they both had been for all that time he had not always been that way…he could always go back to who he was, but Elle never could because she had always been broken…she always would be.

He would move on, find some one else that wasn't so eternally wrecked. Some one that could be everything for him that she knew she never had been, but hoped she could be. That chance was gone, lost to her ignorance that she wouldn't have to change even though he had. She would stay right were she was, not moving forward and never going back…and she would have to do it without him and without the comfort of knowing that at least some one loved her no matter what. _This_ would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do. This day…seven years later…they would finally both remember for a different reason.


End file.
